When couples book me to perform live wedding music, one of the questions I’m asked is, “Do we need to pick your set list?”
The answer is simple: there isn’t one. I have a set list on my website as an example and a long list of songs I know but the choices I make are crafted in the moment, not planned ahead of time.
That might sound risky at first. After all, when you’re planning a wedding, you want certainty. You want to know the music will fit your day perfectly. But that’s exactly why I don’t use a fixed setlist — because no two weddings, no two rooms, and no two groups of guests are ever the same.
Reading the Room, Not the Paper
Music is about connection. A printed list can’t read the mood of the room, the weather, or whether Uncle Dave has started his Liam Gallagher impression too early. I’ve played weddings for fifteen years, and I’ve learned that responding to what’s happening in the moment creates something no spreadsheet of songs ever could — genuine atmosphere.
Because I’m a solo performer — a one-man-band with loop pedals and a guitar — I can turn on a dime. I don’t need to check in with bandmates or cue a track. I can sense where the energy is going and steer it accordingly. Sometimes I won’t even know what I’m playing next until halfway through the song I’m in. It’s not chaos; it’s instinct mixed with experience.
Think of it as a living, breathing algorithm running in real time. Every smile, foot tap, or lull in conversation feeds the next decision.
The 1960s Moment I’ll Never Forget
A few summers ago, I was setting up for a drinks reception as the wedding guitarist at Hornington Manor when the family brought over a very elderly relative and sat her beside my amp. I was just about to kick things off with something modern when I clocked her — kind face, careful steps, probably in her eighties.
In that split second, I changed direction. Instead of the indie tune I’d planned, I opened with The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel.
Within moments, I saw her quietly mouthing the words.
For the next few songs, I stayed in that era — the music of her youth. She’d have been in her twenties or thirties in the 1960s, so those songs carried her memories. And once she was smiling, the whole space warmed up around her. Later, when I shifted to something more recent, the energy flowed naturally.
That’s what responsive live music does: it includes everyone, not just the majority. A setlist could never have predicted that moment.
How It Helps You
When I say you don’t need to pick every song, I mean it. I encourage couples to give me a few “must plays” — songs that mean something personal — and then trust me to build around them.
Here’s what that gives you:
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Less pressure. No need to overthink playlists or balance every generation’s taste.
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A better flow. Music that adapts to the mood of each part of the day — calm during the meal, lively when the drinks land, romantic at sunset.
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More inclusion. Every guest, from teens to grandparents, gets their turn in the spotlight.
A Living Soundtrack
Your wedding is a story unfolding in real time. The laughter, the glances, the weather, the light — all of it changes moment by moment. Your music should change with it.
So when people ask, “What’s on your setlist?”
I just smile and say, “Everything that fits your day.”
Check out the video below of the drinks reception vibe at Swinton Park near Ripon.
